As many of you know, I have chronic liver disease. There are good days and there are bad days, thankfully more good then bad. My doctor is just waiting until I get worse before turning me over to a specialist and putting me on the transplant list. We hope and pray that it will never come to that, and we are doing everything in our ability to try to keep me as healthy as possible. It is an amazingly faith building experience to live with a chronic illness.
Sometimes I don't see why God has allowed this journey through illness for our family. It is hard on everyone who loves me. I know that they are using it as an opportunity to grow in their faith as well, as they pray for my healing, and trust me to God's care. Ofttimes I think it is hardest on the children. I'm not exactly the 'fun' Mommy. I don't have scads of energy to do lots of things with them. I can't make promises or plan too far ahead. It isn't easy for my husband either, I realize, but thankfully he has the maturity to deal with it far more graciously than I would if roles were reversed. We all just have to trust the Lord each day and rely fully on His strength.
When I look around, I see so many facing difficulties far far greater than ours. I find our struggle so small and insignificant by comparison. It gives me great comfort to think in terms of eternity - for this is really just a brief skirmish before the great reward. It is our battle, though, and so there are sometimes questions, fears and discouragements. We bring them all before the Lord each day, and trust Him, fully.
Once in a while He gives me these wee glimpses into how He is using our circumstances to build character in our children. These moments are precious reminders that there are no accidents with God.
The other day, I was ironing and Storyteller was playing with his stuffies, Mackinaw and Tiger. Tiger was the Daddy and he was hurting, having just broken his leg, a hip and his collar bone in the most dreadful accident known to
Mr. Mackinaw Bear: ' Well, how are you going to get along?'
Mr. Tiger: 'Just fine thank you. I have my crutches.'
Mr. Mackinaw Bear: 'Can you work if you are in pain?'
Mr. Tiger: 'Well. I am sure there will be good days and bad days. I'll work really hard on the good days.'
Mr. Mackinaw Bear:'Oh. What will you do on the bad days?'
Mr. Tiger: 'I'll still keep working, just 10 times slower. I'll just rest when I need to and keep going. I'll get my work done though. Don't you worry, God will give me strength to do what I need to do.'
Mr. Mackinaw Bear: 'I guess that will be alright. I like your attitude. Your one of my best workers. I think I'll give you a raise. How does $7 sound?'
Mr. Tiger: 'Sweet!'
The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?