Where has the time gone? Ten years ago today a very special little boy was born. My husband and I were a 'waiting adoptive couple', hoping and praying each day to be 'chosen'. We were thrilled to get a call two days later - we were being considered by his birthmom! We were so nervous and excited.
We went to meet his birthmom and she liked us very much - then we went to meet 'our' baby boy! What a special sweet tiny little charmer he was - we couldn't wait to take him home! His foster family were wonderful - a homeschooling family of 6, godly Christians putting their faith into practice everyday. We visited for hours every day we were able to and got to know 'our' sweet boy!
We went home each night in a daze - we couldn't sleep, hardly ate, and neglected our church work terribly. We could hardly believe the blessing that was to be ours - a baby boy!
Finally, the first bunch of paper work was done, and we brought him home - just before Easter. We were still 'just fostering with a view to adopt', but how can you hold back your heart from loving a baby just because the paperwork isn't quite complete? You can't, and we didn't - and we don't for a moment regret loving him.
The Historian's mother came to see her first living grandson armed with a basket full of the most wonderful little boy clothes. Our church family showered us with love and baby gifts. We were forgiven for walking about in a daze! We got special permission to take him over the border to Canada so my parents could meet our precious boy. We celebrated their 35th wedding anniversary with them and 'showed off' our blessing!
On our way home, our baby boy was tired. We really couldn't afford a night in a hotel, but we took one anyway, and it was a precious night. He was fussy and tired, but we sang to him, rocked him, and prayed for him for hours. Our hearts were so full.
We arrived home to a message from our case worker. She sounded like she had been crying. Our boy's birthfamily had made other arrangements for the raising of this precious baby boy, and we were to take him back the next day.
We could hardly believe the pain. We had no idea it could hurt so much to loose a child.
We took him back to the agency - we decided to take all the beautiful clothes and lavish gifts that had been his to show the birthfamily how much he had been loved. We took a few of the pictures we had of him too, and gave it all to them. I read my journal to them - all of the love we felt was poured out before them. We wanted them to know what a blessing it had been to us to be a part of his life - even for a few short weeks.
We went home to grieve.
We called out to God and He answered. He brought peace first, healing took more time. I cooked - filled every one's freezer until my husband was worried we would go broke buying food to give away. I knit - 500 cotton dishcloths. It helped. Time helped. Prayer helped.
We prayed and waited. Six months later we felt the Lord telling us it was time to try again. We called and asked for our adoption profile to be put back into 'circulation'. Six weeks later we were chosen again!
This time the results were much more satisfying - we have our beautiful sweet Dreamer, and we have no regrets. We know God's plan to be perfect in every way.
We don't forget 'our' first precious child. We know God doesn't forget either. Everyday for the rest of my life I will pray for our first sweet boy. I wonder how he is growing up. I wonder what he looks like, likes to play with, likes to eat. I wonder how he is doing in school.
Most of all I wonder if anyone is telling him about Jesus. I wonder if he knows the Lord in a real way, or only His name used in obscenity. We just keep on praying. We know God has a special plan for his life - something we will likely never know this side of heaven.
So, today is his tenth birthday! I wish I could make him a cake, sing to him and give him a big hug. Today, I am a bit happy-sad, but I'm praying! Praying that this precious boy will know how much he is loved, praying he will know the love of God in his young life. Praying that he will hunger and thirst after righteousness. Praying that all is well.