The 'Girlfriend Warning'

There are some things that should definitely come with an official 'Girlfriend Warning', and I have two prime examples for you this week.

By 'Girlfriend Warning' I mean that uncommon courtesy that one woman must extend to another when said woman is about to engage in potentially 'risky behavior'. It's something we learned in high school, as you may recall. Often these gems of profound insight were passed along in the hallways by the lockers, cafeteria or even in the girls bathroom.

You remember. Words like, 'Don't go out with George - he has more hands than an octopus has arms!'. This warning was pretty clear - meant to help your girl friends understand that George was apt to frequently invade your personal space and was not a safe date. We all avoided George until he grew up and learned to keep his hands to himself. The 'girlfriend warning' in action.

Women have been helping one another out like this for centuries I'm certain, which is why it mystifies me that I clearly walked into two instances of obviously 'risky behavior' this week without so much as a hint of warning. A 'girlfriend warning' failure. Thankfully not life altering, but never the less, a failure.

I will not, cannot, in all good conscience allow you, my friends, to fall into this kind of circumstance unwarned. I like you all too much. After all, you read my blog, put up with my silliness, and you make kind remarks in my comments - well, some of you do!

Here, then, is my very serious 'girlfriend warning'. If this is the only gift I ever give you, it will still be of great value. Unless you choose to completely ignore me. Which is just fine. Honestly.

The first warning comes as a confession.

I went shopping without children. I went to Crafts 2000 and Hobby Lobby. Alone. For hours and hours. Ahhhhh.

Feasting your eyes on beauty, drooling over gorgeous fringe and raiding the clearance bins on your hands and knees can work up quite an appetite. Mine lead me to Panera Bread. There, on the menu board, as innocent as you please, the cream cheese selection - including - hazelnut.

No warnings, no caution - not even a raised eyebrow from the young woman taking my order.

The 'girlfriend warning' failed, and now I am subject to an addiction to Panera Bread Hazelnut Cream cheese. I can only hope it is a seasonal offering and will soon be replaced with something totally distasteful like broccoli and anchovy. It is sooooooooooo good. I wonder if there is a 'Cream Cheese Anonymous' meeting in my area? I may need it. It is a very good thing that I don't get out often - but when I am out .... Panera Bread, here I come. All other cream cheese just pales by comparison.

I'm not usually food focussed. Unless it is really good chocolate. This new addiction must result from the fact that my parents have our children and I totally want to be there jumping in the waves and getting sand in my swimsuit with them. It will pass, right?

My second warning comes from an inspiration.

I just loved a certain chenille fringe that The Nester uses in some of her fabulous tassels. I thought it might help me with a valance that I recently made that just 'needs something' 'Nester-ish' to make it truly lovely. I e-mailed her as to her secret source and she told me - Hobby Lobby. Yeah! I hotfooted it over to our Hobby Lobby, coupon in hand, and drooled over the very fringe she used. It was a dream come true.

Until I thought about just how much my husband might really hate it ... so I bought just one yard. Brought it home. Pinned it on the curtain top I'm trying really hard to like. And I hated it on the valance too - just too much poof for our bathroom. What's a woman to do with just one yard of wonderful fringe? Hmm.

Thankfully, I have a friend who loves tassels, so I thought to myself, 'How hard can it be? It won't be as pretty as the Nester's, naturally, but I could give tassel making a try!' I gathered my trusty hot glue gun, an old wooden spool and all the ribbon and trim leftovers from my past home dec projects .... and I made Mrs. M a somewhat Nester-like tassel!!!

Then, I made 8 more. One right after another. In one afternoon. When I was supposed to be sewing, cleaning and resting.

Another addictive hobby - just what I needed. My sister is already convinced that I'm the ADHD Crafter.

Where was the 'Girlfriend Warning' there, I ask you? Something clear - like 'Tassel making can be addictive. You might make tassels until your fingers cramp and still want to make more. You might dream about tassels and try to figure out how your family can eat less food so there is more room in the budget for lush trims, ribbons and fringe.'


Something simple like that would have been greatly appreciated. I'm thinking about I might need to find a 'Tasseler's Intervention' group soon or take on a part time job, because I'll need to support my new fringe buying habit, after all.

Well, I'm off to hide the hazelnut cream cheese so I don't have to share no one else succumbs to this particular 'risky behavior'. After that, I think I'll fire up the hot glue gun and make a tassel - after all my sister needs two for her family room! Honestly. She said so.

Feel free to pass this 'girlfriend warning along' and get the word out to those you care about. You just might save someone you love from ... themselves!

Proverbs 17:22

A cheerful disposition is good for your health;
gloom and doom leave you bone-tired.

The Message