You won't be accusing me of being too private or too spiritual after this post! I'm going to be honest and forthright. I did not want to go to my Bible Study tonight. Whew! I can't believe I admitted that, in public, so to speak, but it is true.
I didn't sleep well last night because I was concerned about 'speaking the truth in love' to a friend and hurting her feelings. I awakened this morning burdened for another friend in need. I started my morning praying as I cleaned out the pantry and fridge. I had to throw out some grains and pasta because they had moths in the packages. So wasteful and so yuck first thing in the morning. I've not had this problem before, but I'll be putting all my grains in the freezer next summer, if I remember!
The day didn't get much better. I had to be the one to make an unpopular decision concerning AWANA. They were having a greatly anticipated harvest celebration complete with hayride tonight, and I decided two children getting over colds should not spend the evening out in the damp chilly air getting very excited and eating large quantities of refined sugars. It's hard to be the 'most unfair Mommy in the kingdom', but I was glad to know I was completely backed by our Historian!
I spent a good part of the morning shopping for groceries with two slightly grumpy children who are getting over colds. They were happy to be shopping for others, but I had to rein them in more frequently than they liked. They would have dearly enjoyed spending our entire years grocery budget to help their friends! Perhaps we should have limited ourselves to one store on this first trip out without the walking boot. I forgot how big the stores are and how much walking is practical with a foot that is still on the mend!
I sorted the groceries, put ours away, and put our supper in the oven while talking to my Mum on the phone. We delivered the remaining pantry items to our friends whose pantry was running on empty, but I felt very badly because I hadn't made a main dish or baked anything to go with the stuff we were taking. Next time. We ran an errand for my Mum - a return that she had to mail. By the time we got home our supper was smelling wonderful, but I was completely out of energy.
I started to rationalize skipping out on Bible study. I didn't have to go out to take the kids to AWANA. My homework wasn't complete (gasp!), and my fatigue was real. My foot was achy and I just wanted to go to bed! Before the kids!
It's amazing how when you pray for strength you don't always expect to get it. After sitting quietly and watching my Historian getting set to put our dinner on the table, I felt somehow strengthened, and thought that I really needed to go. I had green lights all the way, and was right on time!
What a blessing tonight's study was! I still have deep joy when I think about how God used His Word to show me His love for me again and to encourage my heart tonight.
When I think of how Jesus is carefully watching His followers, the true Church, watching and looking for us to bear much fruit, it just thrills my heart! We were studying John 15:1-8, the passage that starts, " I am the True Vine, and My Father is the Vinedresser ...."
I think this is a season of pruning in my life, but tonight I realized again that His purpose in pruning is to make me bear much fruit - not for my own glory but to bring glory to the Father. It's incredibly humbling to think that He would use my quiet life to bring glory to Himself, but it's right there in His Word. After the pruning, there are no should's or might's - only a will - I will bear much fruit. And to think that this is an ongoing life long process - even in my 'old age' I'll be feeling the shears and sprouting new buds!
I'm so glad I went to Bible study!